OPO agents stormed the church. "The late

OPO agents stormed the church. "The late Pastor Joe Saltarelli was a registered organ donor," said their captain. "Your church organ will serve another congregation well." Hacksaws

started in on the organ, and then, like an angel's whisper, the choir starting humming, "how great thou art" until the OPO agents started weeping. Then the Captain got on the organ

and started banging out the funkiest holy music the congregation had ever heard. It was a whole other world of crazy far out psychedelic sounds and everyone started tripping out to

the soundtrack to "El Topo". In addition, the sacramental Kool-Aid had been spiked with boutique hallucinogens the new minister had procured in Des Moines, the emerging rave center

almost got shut down for drug-related offences several times, but the minister's God-Squad had always managed to evade the law. Until one evening a cop car pulled up outside...

Weapons and fought back this time. Their religion was no longer peaceful. What happened was...

Sister Mary Elizabeth poked me with her ruler. "YOU!" she hissed. "Are supposed to be memorizing Psalm 102, not playing video games! GO immediately to confession!"

"Salami? My favorite! I mean yes, Sister." He went to the confession box. "Father hear my prayer ... let my ham and rye come quickly. Do not hide your placemats from me

. Deliver lunch on to me, as you deliver lunch onto others. And keep us from being hungry at all times, amen." He then went to contemplate what to have for pudding.