The bear came out at night, only

The bear came out at night, only

live in a trash can, as my pappy always used to say, so I threw away the Glock and hopped into the dumpster. Hiding from

these thugs had become tiresome. Sure, there were plenty of diversions amid the trash but I didn't need that gun here

in plain sight. I would much rather have the chica's be in plain sight wearing nothing but their

headbands and drinking barrel-aged cocktails while sunning their glistening, perfect, naked bodies.

Carpe diem. In search of liquid courage, I opened a Narragansett tall boy and drained the can in two gulps. Time to

face the demonic old witch. As she turned, I sneered"Mother, why must you always

kiss me goodnight? You know physical touch is not my 'love language'." Just spend time with me!

For Christ's sake!