Here's the thing: I'm only human. On top

Here's the thing: I'm only human. On top of that I'm a dude, so I'm only a MALE human. You people have got to lower your expectations a few notches. I mean, if you're going to

have requirements to join this slacker-website then this Dude is thinking about saying, "you have unrealistic expectations." This potential may be reached after a nap and

another set of fucking useless Captcha codes. I gave up explaining how computer-generated objects can be decompiled by, duh, computers. But everyone wants a sign up for no good

winter tomatoes. Well, DUH! Of course the winter tomatoes are crap! And none of your software-engineering wizardry will ever change that...but what if the whole salad was

made out of salad?

No. This was a blend of tobacco leaves, poison ivy, datura flowers, mistletoe berries, and minced pine cones, not a proper salad. I shouldn't have eaten so much of this mixture.

It gave me the runs so then I went to sleep. The next morning I woke up with a giant pine tree growing out of the toilet. It grew through the roof, into the sky, past the clouds,

and was a hazard for small aircraft. "Honey, did you eat the beans last night? Call your mother because you got some explaining to do." TV Helicopters started hovering around

the area, hoping for some sensational happening. As it turned out, he did eat the beans last night, but no way was he gonna call his mother. He propelled the aircraft over to a

n island. He ascended the extinct volcano & sat emitting sulfurous vapors. The natives fruit & bean offerings appeased the 'Firegod' who lived in tropic paradise to a ripe old age.