I was the first person to know my brother

I was the first person to know my brother was gay. He choose my 17th birthday to tell me. He didn't buy me a present, but this news was the best present I could ever receive.

I freakin loved rainbow cupcakes and this was the perfect opportunity to eat them 24/7. I knew that my family would try to stop me, but I could use my brother's homosexuality to

tell what was going on until it was too late. "Hey, lookie here, he's throwin up!" I heard Jeb shout, and turned to find everyone staring at me. What had gone wrong? I looked down

to see my lunch...my head cheese and egg sandwich...blown out of my mouth and nostrils and onto my shoes...big greasy half-eaten chunks. "The big pieces are mine," Jeb cried.

And so they were. They all had his muddy eyes. No father born in Hell could ever be prouder than Jeb was over these spewed chunks. My shoes, on the other hand, were a disgrace.

They were not politically correct. But little care I for fashion, so I wore them anyway. Jeb offered me his shoes, but they reeked of corruption. Where was the Lysol? Jeb stole it.

I followed the droplets and caught Jeb trying to scrub the corruption from his shoes. "They may smell different, but they're still corrupt," I informed him, but instead of

breaking ANOTHER bone I decided to let it slide this time. Jebediah, morning the loss of data in his shoes, returned to work in the fields. It was a scorcher that day, and the corn

kernels scattered in the breeze. Jeb came home and gave me a kiss on my forehead.