I swear, it was just like mom used to make

I swear, it was just like mom used to make back when

I too lived in a back alley. Ahhh, pufferfish. Mom used to say that poison builds character. Not her character, apparently, but it worked wonders for mine. I even call her every

nasty name in the book. After a typical phone convo the swear jar is overflowing with penance. I plopped a pretty penny in that petty penance pot. Mom would be in my alley in just

a bit. With expletives and a throaty laugh, she expressed her interest in my recent ventures. Mom could outswear a sailor (and had the tattoos to prove it). Any other mother

, no...but my mom used to call us in for dinner like this: "Get your f#@!in' heinies in the g@#%!$mn house now, you little sh*t monkeys. And I don't mean f*#@%in' maybe!" We loved

her homemade sauerkraut fried with onions, but friends ever wanted to come over for dinner. Go figure. Of course, maybe her truck-driver mouth scared away. Or was it her beard?

Couldn't be her beard - it was double braided, luxuriant and reached her waist. She always got compliments on her beard. Maybe no one came to dinner because of her habit of head-

banging during the cheese course. It made her so dizzy at her last dinner party that she tripped over her beard & face planted into the trifle. Since then she's been in social Sibe

which is a club. Social Sibe is part online social media and dance club. She was there to rehabilitate her "awesomeness."

So you see, class, we start with free speech, capitalists spread fear propaganda, commercialism bans free speech and next thing you know you're dancing with "We Think We're Stars".