He took the hot dog, gripped it with his

He took the hot dog, gripped it with his tongs. The tong's teeth bit into the plump, moist wiener. He split open the fluffy bun. He spread the doughy halves apart and gingerly

started typing his newest Brady Bunch fan fiction, gulping down his lunch as visions of Eve Plumb danced in his head. This one would be better than the Sam/Cousin Oliver slash fic

tion for the Bradiest. The girl dancing in his head is hesitating for her next move since the music in his head now was the sound the bell of someone entering his videocassette sho

nuff. His dream became a whirlwind of Oh my nose, it's always Marsha Marsha Marsha, and Bobby stole my Kitty Carryall. Then Oliver showed up, indicating the dream was about to end.

The laugh track was his cue. If he could strangle Oliver during the commercial break, maybe Alice & the kids could make it until Mike got home. Oliver was the devil in this dream

but what nobody realised was the Alice was no angel either. While Mike was racing home to protect his brood, Alice was planning with her crochet group to

knit ball gags and rope to restrain the children. Mike had heard them discussing their plain the week prior, but until they met that week, he didn't believe they'd go through with

the family game night dedicated to heavy bondage. It wasn't until he saw Brian installing the ceiling hooks that he started to worry. Small children should not try suspension play.

Instead, small children should try suspension of disbelief play. He decided to play along as the swings came out