The tutu really made his outfit, he thought.

The tutu really made his outfit, he thought. Why he hadn't worn them before was a mystery, but seeing the envious stares of his coworkers as he walked into Taco Bell, waving his

Magic fairy wand and actually hitting the people on the head, in hopes of stealing their DoritosTacos, I mean, those suckers are good! It was worth wearing the tutu, but it only wo

-rked if I also recited the Complete Works of John Cleese at the top of my lungs. The staff at the Taco Bell drive-thru didn't appreciate me doing that, and I was summarily banned

which sucks because I don't know of any other cheap "Mexican" food. I noticed they kicked me out when I recited the "Crunchy Frog" sketch, then later Taco Bell's menus changed.

Luckily I found a great joint just down the street who's food prep requirements weren't as stringent as Taco Bell's. It was called the Gordita Anchor and their slogan was

"We put the 'grrr' in 'grease'!" So I walked in and asked the manager if they were accepting applications for a new fry chef. The manager, a stubby man named Darek with an A, said

the A was silent, and that his stubs created a force field that deflected all jokes and criticisms. "Let's keep this KFC interview short and thick, er, I mean sweet, Darek." Greasy

chicken spittle flew from his lips as he answered Darek's questions as vaguely as possible, so no one could put two-and-two together & figure out the Colonel's secret KFC recipe. D

ishes broke, curses came from the kitchen. The Chef stormed out of the kitchen. Darek saw his white hair, white beard, black framed glasses, seer sucker suit. Colonel Sanders?

Dareks mouth gaped. "Don't eat that! It's wallpaper paste & sludge. I fired my assistant.How'd you like a job?" So I learned the real secret recipe & carried on the Sanders legacy.