He was a hippie. She was a pirate. It was

He was a hippie. She was a pirate. It was never going to work but they tried anyway. This is the story of the star-crossed lovers who swashbuckled pot brownies and

had that ben button disease where he aged backwards; his parents named him Train to give kids something else to mock. By middle school he left for piracy, and met a swanky lass who

was missing all her teeth but could whistle Back Street Boys greatest hits. A pirate named Shiver Metimbers and his pet parrot Jim'ilad terrorised the 419 scammers with

all of the girl's missing teeth and a banana parrot Jim'ilad wanted him to terrorize them with. "I really wanted to eat that banana, Jim'ilad," he sighed. They saw the girl, and

began to flirt with her. All those missing teeth, the eyepatch, unibrow and that facial tattoo of a gnome really made her into Jim'ilad dream girl. "Hey, how you doing?"

He asked. She answered "I am transforming myself into a toad!". And that is what happened. I felt the room greening around me, and I grew leaves and flowers. My hair became grass.

My ass became grass. My arms became farms. My eyes became skies. My lips became chips. My nose became a hose. My ears became deers. My head became lead. My toes became hoes

My feet became wheat. My inspiration became my desperation. My being was a slap in my face or whatever I have when I'm not manifested. My elbow became an oxbow. My coccyx became

the moon rising in the day. The air turned into melting candles and the time was almost up. I thought I belonged in a story, a grave, or an asylum. The dreams felt as real as rain.