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I just took the drug with the altered molecular

  • I just took the drug with the altered molecular structure. I thought it would boost my intelligence: instead I'm having visions of the future. I'll die and take the formula with me

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  • to the third plane of Nirvana where I'll reunite with kindred spirits assembled through time. One such spirit will have foreseen my arrival and we will push each other's foresight

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  • until I achieve the highest plane of Nirvana. On my journey to enlightenment, I will see great horror and feel great pain, because in order to truly reach blissfulness one must

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  • have a guru slap you hard across the face. This sudden trama removed my ego from the universe thus I could travel the middle path. He would do it early in the morning so I would be

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  • a little bristly on the face, which would provide better traction for the necessary guru-slap. I could hardly sleep the night before, but would soon be free of the albatross of my

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  • albatross. Poor bird. Had that thing hanging around his avian neck for decades. But my Life Coaching lessons were about to pay off by

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  • keeping me from being indicted for giving test answers to my life team members. Being a Life Coach is a big responsibility they say, but the bigwigs say the poor gotta stay poor.

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  • Then (thank god) Obamacare deemed "Life Coaching" as an insurable service & before long, I was rolling in the big bucks. But then, of course, I had higher taxes to pay. I hated to

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  • pass on the increased cost to my clients, poor broken souls that they were. But as their Life Coach, I made paying my bills first a Top Priority Life Goal. I bleached my teeth &

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  • other parts of myself with pride. The guilt of misleading these wayward sons and daughters of our broken economy with cheap slogans and "retreats" was what I could never erase.

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4 Comments

  1. Zetawilk Apr 29 2013 @ 16:07

    Man, if only there could be some kind of calculated mechanic whereby your taxes are only higher if you're disgustingly wealthy. Like, maybe if your taxes were calculated as a sort of percentage from your net profits (after paying your bills for necessities such as housing, electricity, water, communications, etc). Then the rich could pick up the slack of their profit-mongering and we could provide services that can lift the poor out of the rut they're jammed, wedged and plungered into. Though if you ask me, I don't understand why it takes money to make sure our sanctions work: When it comes to things like education and employment, either they're doing their work of they're just leaving it up to Craig's List instead.

  2. PurpleProf Apr 29 2013 @ 16:46

    I think I'll ditch my doctorate and become a Life Coach instead.

  3. Zetawilk Apr 29 2013 @ 21:58

    What is a life coach? Someone who yells at and judges you for every little decision you make? Don't we get enough of that already?

  4. PurpleProf Apr 29 2013 @ 23:03

    Well in that case, I may as well stay where I am.

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