Agnes wrote her Honey Do List. 1. Sharpen

Agnes wrote her Honey Do List. 1. Sharpen knives. 2. Take out Life Insurance. She stapled a photo of her in her flannel nightie so he'd get the message and left it on the table

Big Wompum was the name of Wilber's bed. He named everything in the house. The lamp was Monte Christo. The Dresser was Cagney. Agnes realized she was married to a mad man.

Agnes pondered leaving the house after Wilber named the couch Dante. However, she had only opened the door when Wilber screamed, "You're molesting Teresa!"

I thought I had already answered this allegation. Teresa is the Queen Zombie, she is in Africa, and I am no molester. I make it a point to not visit Zombie Queens, Africa, and not

venture to places where I'm not welcomed. I am not susceptible to your voodoo charms so don't even try it. I'm not looking ... no you can't! Muhh huhhh uhh gurgle

... Hours later I found myself in Haiti with live chickens duct-taped onto my forearms and a flaming goat's skull on a stick before me. I was on a beach. It was night-time. Music

Was provided by sea-dogs. Sea-dogs #1 and #2 were husband and wife, singing, "How High Is The Moon" and other Les Paul/Mary Ford classics. Sea-dog#3 played guitar. It was beautiful

ly horrific. Why, you might ask? Because sea-dogs don't have hands and cannot speak English. Their music was

good fer drinkin' to. Swillin' rum from saucers 'cuz they have no hands. Arr, the lyrics were salty & they'd sing the choruses over 'n' over 'cuz they couldn't remember the verses.