I woke up, hypnotized by strong, thick nipples

I woke up, hypnotized by strong, thick nipples

covered in streaming blond hair. Each was like an overflowing pool of beauty tied up in pony tails. The hair ties read W.W.J.D. I assumed it meant Which Whore Jerked Davy?

Naw! No way did W.W.J.D. mean Which Whore jerked Davy. I was just too envious of Davy the bully had picked on me all my life. Maybe it meant Whipping Whelts Jumbled on Davy. Nope

. I looked across the school hallway. A group of students wore neon WWJD bracelets. I didn't know so many teens were part of the World Wide Judo Division. I had to prepare.

With a sense of drama that had taken years to perfect, I took out my black belt and deliberately slowly put it around my waist. "Where's your WWJD bracelet, pops?" asded a teen who

asdfed his jkl; he'd had a learning disability, and being expelled after urinating on a cop car at prom didn't help. He didn't realize my black belt /was/ my WWJD bracelet. Well,

that bracelet was priceless to me and my hipster aspirations. What could be more ironic than a death metal radio station with the call letters of WWJD-FM 106.9? I grabbed my

were finished playing, everyone was pretty wiped out. But the Darkest Hour was still to come. The ancient headbangers still worshipped the Big 4 & eagerly awaited the encore.

But it was Jerry Garcia who appeared instead. He was grateful...and so was the audience.