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I have Michael Bublé's "Russian Unicorn"

  • I have Michael Bublé's "Russian Unicorn" stuck in my head.

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  • This is making my Ukrainian boyfriend annoyed. It's like centuries of oppression and being ground under the Russian heel and now this. I called Michael Bubl�. "Please stop singing

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  • anything by Mariah Carey, it's just too urban." That shocked my Ukrainian Boyfriend because he was very PC. Michael Buble understood exactly what I was saying. He smoothed things

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  • Out with his charming accent. Being PC meant listening to hip-hop, rap, and such. I hated it, but my Ukranian boyfriend loved going to clubs. I hated clubs because everyone smoked.

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  • Then they would tell me how smoking I was, when I wasn't. "This ol' face? Oh this is the face I wear when I don't care what I look like." I smiled, secretly loathing him more. When

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  • he smiled back at me a little longer than necessary, I decided to mess with the *sshole more. "You know," I said, staring into his eyes & using my huskiest tone, "If you'd like to

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  • dance, I'm pretty good at the Rhumba." "But..." he stammered back at me, "I don't..." but it was too late. Green velvet drapes opened on a stage to our right, where an entire band

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  • pulled down their shockingly white liederhosen, and mooned us. "How am I supposed to dance after witnessing that?" He whined. "Oh just shut up and start Rhumba-ing ya cry big baby

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  • she retorted. This was NOT the way his mother spoke to his father. Suddenly, he was enraged - enraged with the power of his ancestors. "Auchtung, mein Frau!" he shouted. "Streudel

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  • lässt mich einstürzende neubauten und sie an Kanarienvögel verfüttern." A Teutonic flood of syllables erupted from his mouth. His mother retorted "Dumkompf!" then left, disgusted.

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4 Comments

  1. ValkyrieGrrl Sep 03 2018 @ 04:47

    Gut gemacht, Jayursus!

  2. ValkyrieGrrl Sep 03 2018 @ 04:48

    ...although why would you feed them canaries?I'm the dumkopf me thinks!

  3. jayursus Sep 03 2018 @ 08:21

    First random thing that popped in my head :) "Russian Unicorn" is a favorite btw, though I think my all-time favorite Bad Lip Reading is "Seagulls".

  4. Davodd Dec 02 2018 @ 09:38

    Yoda and Buble need to duet.

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