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He gazed out the window as a light drizzle

  • He gazed out the window as a light drizzle gently blanketed the gardens outside. The rhythmic whirring lulled him into a lazy trance when the MOTHER F'ING COPIER F'ING JAMMED AGAIN
  • He removed the Sword of Krom from the where the printer paper is kept. He ripped his tie, said, "Krom, grant me revenge, or to hell with you!" He cleaved the copier with the blade
  • and liberated the replicator within. The replicator unfolded himself in accordianlike fashion and thanked him cordially but the handshake gave him a papercut. He dropped Krom and
  • doubled over in pain from the insect bites that festered on his arms and legs. he desperately needed a salve of some sort and began to search in earnest for one in the cabinet
  • but in the blindness of his pain, he failed to notice that the cabinet was actually the mouth of a crocodile! He forgot the insect bites and
  • screamed as the croc clamped down on his ring finger and started to pull him into the cabinet. His screams were heard by a passing
  • boulder, who stopped right by him. Stuck between a croc and a hard place, he quickly realized that it was almost time to
  • play Family Feud. Richard repeated, "Name an idiom you hear every day." Against the clock, he blurted out, "Absinthe makes the heart grow fonder." DingDingDing! Balloons and confe
  • -rence calls bolstered up the stage. Richard Karn played against borrowed time. A cannon of confetti hit the game show host in the chest, & he fell to the ground, regenerating into
  • John O'Hurley, the next MC for Family Feud. He had the soul of a Time Lord, just like James Bond.
Started
2011-02-22 18:52:46
Finished
2011-11-08 00:45:23

13 Comments

  1. Avatar

    Chaz Nov 08 2011 @ 00:49

    Dan Mars... Dan Mars.... That is all I can say. Dan Mars.... :)
  2. Avatar

    DanMars Nov 08 2011 @ 04:43

    I couldn't help it. :)
  3. Avatar

    49erFaithful Nov 08 2011 @ 12:14

    Just your average Tuesday on Planet FS.
  4. Avatar

    SlimWhitman Nov 08 2011 @ 17:22

    Tomorrow's just another day... tuesday. always liked that line.
  5. Avatar

    m80 Nov 08 2011 @ 18:31

    This made my day!
  6. Avatar

    49erFaithful Nov 08 2011 @ 19:50

    Wasn't sure exactly what Slim was referring to and I found this: http://www.kissthisguy.com/6205misheard.htm Hope it doesn't burst your bubble. Now excuse me while I kiss this guy.
  7. Avatar

    SlimWhitman Nov 09 2011 @ 15:17

    The way I hear the lyrics, it means today is monday which makes sense since everything that can go wrong did. Just before the song fades out you hear the kids singing happy birthday to you. I'm with the commentator on the site you found and still sing it this way. Any other misheard lyrics?
  8. Avatar

    49erFaithful Nov 09 2011 @ 15:37

    I always thought that "take your passion and make it happen" from Flashdance sounded much more like "take your pants down and make it happen" which I thought was pretty hilarious as a kid.
  9. Avatar

    SlimWhitman Nov 09 2011 @ 18:15

    Well, that would definitely be a flash dance...
  10. Avatar

    Chaz Nov 09 2011 @ 19:32

    Rolling Stones: Hey you! Get off of my cloud! I heard: Hey Dude! Get off of my spouse! Jealous much?
  11. Avatar

    buddyboy4711 Nov 09 2011 @ 21:05

    When I listened to the Muppets' cover of "Kokomo," I somehow heard them singing "Cook Elmo." For years, I thought the Muppets and Sesame Street had some serious beef.
  12. Avatar

    Niloufar Nov 10 2011 @ 22:11

    Nice Story!
  13. Avatar

    KieferSkunk Oct 27 2012 @ 03:08

    Almost a year later, I came upon this story and saw all the discussion about misheard lyrics. One of my favorites came from my wife just a couple years ago: Steely Dan: Your black cards can make you money My wife heard: Your black cars can make you horny

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