Red alert! Red alert!

Red alert! Red alert!

The sirens screamed and the lights flashed red. Jacob said, "Not red alert again".

And Odysseus said to his men: "Tie me to the mast and plug your ears – and I will prove to the world that I can withstand the lure of the sirens!" Jacob and the men looked at him

strangely. "Didn't know you were into that. OK, time for a little sensory deprivation, lads." Once Odysseus was strung up, they stuck fishing lures to him. When the sirens blew

he found himself transported four years into the future. "Welcome, Odysseus. We've been waiting for you." When his eyes finally focused, he saw the voice had come from a cow.

It was a cow with one eye in the middle of her forehead (between her horns) and a voice that sounded like angels mooing. Just imagine that, if you can. Odysseus was quite taken

eye settled on the chocolate cake. "Odysseus, I want chocolate cake!" whined the cow. Odysseus said, "Chocolate cake!? Where!?" He spun and saw. "Chocolate cake! For breakfast!"

"If I give you chocolate cake," said Odysseus, "will you make chocolate milk?" The cow paused, looking thoughtful. "If I'm in the right MOO-d," she replied.

Odysseus rolled his eyes. “If there’s anything I hate more than a talking cow it’s a talking cow spouting ‘MOO’ puns constantly!” Perturbed, the cow replied, “I’m UDDERly ashamed!"