Sergeant Lipschitz sat on a stoop, singing

an overpowering urge to sing the duet with someone. Sgt. Lipschitz found it hard to confide his desire to sing vampire music to someone of higher rank.. He decided to 'punish' Pvt.

LupeBurger by choosing him to practice his talents on to him. Sgt. Lipschitz sang: "Vampires and blood, vampires and blood, bats and hallways, vampires and blood!". It was pretty

woman" Roy Orboson's wacky hit playing over the intercom. Sgt. Lipshitz shut his mouth and looked at the speakers. He scowled at them and bit his lip. How dare they. How DARE they?

And how did they know? "Pretty Woman" was the song he hummed late at night after he closed the drapes and played "dress-up." Who'd squealed? Sgt. Lipshitz had to get to the bottom

of the next bottle before the pain would begin to subside. His "nocturnal activities" were now posted all over Twitter and Facebook! Weeping, Sgt. Lipshitz reapplied his lipstick

And knew he had to fold stories instead of eating bananas at midnight with a swig of butterscotch schnapps. His wife was begging him to see a psychiatrist again after 20 years.

But the days of juggling 2 love affairs were long behind him now. Besides he and the psychiatrist had not parted on the best of terms. Each claimed it wasn't the other but them but

actually it really was the other, each thought, privately. Now, with the love affairs and the therapy over, there was nothing to do but stare at the sea. And it was a great relief.

They silently gazed on the symbol of their relationship: endless & relentless. Hours later, he looked over at her, finally ready for the truth. But her eyes had closed...forever.