With global warming, the seasons accelerated

With global warming, the seasons accelerated to a one week cycle. Snow on Sunday, Swimming by Wednesday, and leaves falling Saturday.

And jeez, don't get me started on Texas. By the time the full climate shift took effect, the entire state was a mad house of rain, sleet, snow, fog, sweltering heat followed by a

gigantic, tsunami-shaped swarm of tornadoes, each one bristling with the bones of extinct animals and spraying acid rain across the once-unmessed-with state. Even Texans couldn't

deny the fossil record now that it was strewn about their front yards. "Would the weather stop if we seceded?" Rick Perry wondered aloud. The tsunadonami cared not for politics or

silly sods. The super-storm didn't care. It just went around stirring things up - although at times it waited until others did its dirty work. For example, take G W Bush (please!)

Was in his gated community, but the super-storm could still get in. Old Daddy Bush was in his wheelchair, being pushed around. He was tired and grumpy all day. G W was concerned.

the educated farm boy asked W. for the name of 'that Mexican fellow', W. blew his top. "Who cares what his name is?" W. shouted, red-faced, "just tell him to pull the surrey aroun

d front!” The farm boy proved himself not so educated, telling the Mexican that W. wanted “the curry.” The Mexican found a can of curry powder and proudly handed it to W. “What the

hell is this Pancho? I want the curry, the Steph Curry perc30 Don Diego.” “Molly clorhidrato de oxicodona!” the Mexican grinned. He undid the curry powder can; drugs tumbled out.