So he broke down and bought the nook. When

So he broke down and bought the nook. When he turned it on their was a message. It was strange because the message from a dead person named Ralphie. The message

was scrawled in blood and was hard to see against the gray background. If only he'd bought the color nook. Its advanced features and color display made it a thoroughbred among

the plethora of up-n-coming Kindle knock-offs. Yep, the Nook Color would have made that bloody scrawl scroll out in style. But there was no time for regrets. He'd simply have to

pretend his Etch-a-Sketch was as good as any Kindle or iPad. Kinda like he pretended he still liked seeing his wives naked when they were 8 months pregnant. The Mormon compound

harbored a deep, dark secret. He was in fact a member of the witness protection program. He had ratted out his boss, Tony "Two Fingers" Calaoni

, and Tony was known for his two-fingered "salute." Tony's rat-fink employee harbored a secret love of the smell of acrylic nail polish. With Tony's penchant for manicures,

the sweet scent of nail polish followed him, cloud-like, throughout the day. If Tony thought it odd Eli lurked close during the day, eyes never leaving the glossy sheen of his nail

enamels, he said nothing. It WAS a lovely French manicure after all. Why shouldn't the handsome rogue admire it. Finally, Eli spoke, in a hushed voice. "Umm, dude,

when the gardener's finished manicuring your lawn, can he come and do mine? The view is outstanding, and that Frenchman does do a lovely job!"