Tiger Mountain -- China's top hacking squad

  • Tiger Mountain -- China's top hacking squad -- surreptitiously infiltrated

  • vending machines. The hacked machines withheld the Funyuns and Fritos at the very cusp of dropping, halting America's productivity. Chinese hackers furthered their plans by

  • causing the coin return to refuse to function, rerouting all errant change to Beijing, where a man in a black suit and dark glasses collected the ill-gotten vending change and took

  • it to the Ratgoddess's HQ where her minions divied it up and transported it in tiny back packs globally to redeposit the coins down the back of sofas in epidemic proportions.

  • Soon enough, the backs of every couch in America were filled with lost loose change. The Ratgoddess's plan had succeeded. Now middle class families were roughly $2.23 poorer!

  • Even General Custer was affected when he went in to get his oil changed. Time Traveling robot oil was not cheap at the best of times but in this crisis it was through the roof.

  • General Custer checked his wallet. $19. Just enough for the oil change on the Delorian. With the weapons he'd purchased in 2049 it was now time to go back and show those Indians wh

  • O was boss. Only problem was they too had bought weapons in 2049 and America was now split into six regions. These native lands were like the Vatican in that they were walled off.

  • Each of the six regions of the new U.S.A. was ruled by one of Trump's children and each would be replaced by their lineage only. Paranoia was served on each royal table. Beefeaters

  • and vegans with their puny quarrels had nothing on what the "Trump Dinner" was like. I fucking hate bread! Screamed Trump junior as he pressed the Nuclear Launch button.



  1. lexnoluthor Nov 25 2016 @ 14:49

    Upon pressing the nuclear button, he realised that he had forgoten to urinate and was furiously angry upon this discovery. "How could I have forgoten to urinate" asked Trump junior to himself. Bewildered he realised that he was urinating at this very moment as he the urine driped down to the floor, creating a puddle in which reflected his own image. With a heavy sigh

  2. Woab Nov 25 2016 @ 15:01

    he had to admit that it was the handsomest puddle reflection he had ever seen, but his love for it was Not to Be.

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