Welcome to Purgatory Diner, sir. If you pay

Welcome to Purgatory Diner, sir. If you pay with your Purity Card, you will eventually earn enough rewards points for a flight to heaven. If it interests you, today's special is

Filet of Soul, smothered in regret, on a bed of angel hair pasta. Would you like to look at our whine menu? The "It's Not Fair" sauvignon blanc would go nicely with the special."

Then the McDonald's cashier popped her bubblegum and said to Dr. Frazer Crane, "Look Ichabod. It's a filet-o-fish, yes or no?"

"Yes!" Frazier Crane said decisively, wanting to communicate his disdain for the uppity McDonald's cashier. "And with a dab of that special sauce." She froze, then peered at him.

"We are out of it," she complained.

Jen gathered her belonging that were sporadically spread around the house and left for good. Now, I am single again

I console myself with a shot of the hard stuff over ice. My father always took his with water but I always thought that an insult to good alcohol. Doesn't stop me missing her

niated disks from carrying her bags while shopping. God I'd Ioved being her 5th Avenue slave. I knocked back the Pappy Van Winckle and chipped a tooth on the iceball.

In the aftermath of my whiskey, I pondered the body in the building lobby. Serves the hag right for giving me a hernia! This time, I chucked her with all her packages from the 16th