All he wanted was a drink of goddamn water.

All he wanted was a drink of goddamn water. He had eaten 8 pounds of extremely salty jerky and mistakenly bobbed for apples in a salt water tank. He sprinted at the Sparklets

but found himself trapped between angry carnies at lunch hour and the hordes of used up spring break coeds seeking recuperation from last night's tequila tournaments.

Indianapolis, Indiana had seen better days. The odor of tequila and vomit wafted his way as he gagged back his last meal. He turned to collect himself and saw

off his left hand. Gripping the saw & biting down hard on the leather strap of his crash-helmet, he pushed the blade forward & frantically sawed, racing the pain that screamed

the grace of Willy Wonka he too received that golden ticket. Not everyone was so lucky, Tommi TV was more then a lucky one. He was a spoiled punk who loved tv, tv dinners and tv

all he got was slightly stretched by the Taffy Puller. But poor Violet Beauregarde was doomed to be slightly blue for the rest of her life. Her nickname at school was "Smurf" and

was teased relentlessly. Veruca smelled like garbage all her days and Agustus' svelte figure caused grief in the Gloop family. They were ripe for a class action suit against Wonka

and his minions of Ompa-Lompas. Wonka sat in his waterfall lair and stroked his persian. "That Charlie had it all! but I'll get back what's mine! Get BP's lawyers on the horn!"

The phone was made of cheddar cheese, the cat made of gouda. "All the cheese in the world won't make up for what Charlie has done to MY chocolate". The twinkle in his eye returned.