"Do you know why I hold this gun?" - "Snakes?

"Do you know why I hold this gun?" - "Snakes? Wild dogs?" - "No, YOU!"

"That's not loaded, is it?" "Let's find out." "Hey everybody, watch this!" The on-camera audience stared at the two fools on the set of the new action TV series, "Extreme

Home Stupidity". The audience gasped...and ducked. A shot rang out. Someone screamed. The audience cheered. Ratings soared for "Extreme Home Stupidity" when the following week,

a man in Elbow, KY self-immolated while trying to light his cigarette with a flamethrower. "Extreme Home Stupidity" soon spawned a sequel, the ineptly named "Sparly Vampires Must

Never Acquaint Themselves with Unintentionally Created Minions." This book became so popular with the sparkly vampire crowd that they was nominated it "best book of the year."

But Mrs. Avery refused to allow it on their television. "Forty cents for three minutes," is what she would answer whenever we brought it up. We even tried paying her the 40 cents

cheese enthusiastic and wanted her money back to pay for her mail order samples. I never knew there were so many varieties. We ceased fire and the Tennessee gal got her dimes

Back. She spent them on parking meters and stuffed them with money so everyone else could park free. It was accidental, but no one cared. The meter man made his money siphoning

change out of the meters. With this money he was able to buy a home in Malibu, where he lived until it fell into the ocean the next day. Karma bit his foolish butt, didn't it?