"Blow out the candle and make a wish, granny!"

"Blow out the candle and make a wish, granny!" we said. Granny looked down at the single candle in the Tastykake Chocolate Junior with disdain. She made her wish. The house rumbled

and without another word the table began to lift slowly from the floor. The Tastykake seemed to take on a life of it's own as it

became the chocolate home of Susan Powter's soul. She'd been such a hypocrite in life, pushing a diet while secretly eating naughty snacks, that God forced her to live in a Tastyka

yak houseboat. She had to constantly row to stay afloat, while simultaneously watching others eat scrumptious meals, for all eternity. She struck a desperate deal with

Sisyphus, 2 weeks a year pushing boulders up the mountain for 2 weeks of the yak houseboat, but after one week watching yaks dine on eachother's scrumptious backsides, Sisyphus

not one of my best traits. He could barely even walk and chew gum at the same time. He decided to take a step foward, but began to stumble. He noticed something shiny on the ground

and everything was ok

except for the giant green mutated hamster in the bathtub, but that wasn't really important right now. At least everyone was safe. Well, almost everyone, but the police didn't

know of the dangers of giant green hamster vomit... Radioactive, toxic, carcinogenic and mutagenic... You name it, it'd probably have that property. As you'd expect, they died.