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I began to sob, he was being so mean to me.

  • I began to sob, he was being so mean to me. I've been there since the beginning and he's just throwing it all away, like I did something horrible enough to deserve it all.

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  • Sobbing isn't going to help me. I needed it though. I needed to let it all out so I can be strong again and then plot my revenge on HIM.

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  • Why would I get my revenge, you ask? He KILLED my twin sister. What kind of human being could take someone else's life? Not only was he my boyfriend, but now he's also a murderer.

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  • HE MUST DIE AT THE HANDS OF SATAN

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  • He noticed the imperative had some vital information missing. Who was "he?" If "he" was going to die at the hands of Satan, I'm certainly glad I'm a "she." No worries, I'll

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  • have to remember remind people to proactively identify their preferred pronouns. BUt as for this individual and their certain doom at the hands of Satan, I knew I had to

    5
  • invite them to church. "OK," they said, surprising me. I honestly didn't think they would accept. "Wear your best dress," I advised. "And shave your beard. I'll pick you up at 10."

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  • "Gosh Mom, it is only 1 whisker, not a beard," whined my daughter while my son went to look for his best dress. I knew already which one he would pick. My daughter, nonetheless, sh

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  • -immied down to the pool hall to pick up sailors and former prisoners. I was so proud of her. She was a free spirit, like me. But my son was just a bearded lady with a winky.

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  • And what a winky it was! "Hey Willie Winkie, the wean's in a creel, Wamblin' aff a bodie's knee like a verra eel... and so began my life as a mother to a porn star!

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5 Comments

  1. Woab Dec 21 2018 @ 14:11

    Hey MadWorld, if you and I ever meet up with a bottle of Scotch, I bet we wind up singing that ditty in a Scottish accent!

  2. MadWorld Dec 22 2018 @ 23:53

    Woab...are you reeking? Aye, right...will you chum me to get some well tidy scran?’

  3. Woab Dec 23 2018 @ 13:02

    I am apparently not reeking enough to get what you just slurred, me bonnie pal. Hand the bottle back at me, wouldja? I- why it's EMPTY! ( A Donnybrook ensues. Chairs are thrown. Windows and noses broken. A fine time is had by all.)

  4. MadWorld Dec 23 2018 @ 15:23

    ...and I awoke with my head rockin' to and fro... asthmatic...the skipping and stumbling of my heartbeat reverberating across my ear canals, louder and louder...and, in slow motion, a drop of bright red blood rolls out of my nose and onto the sofa...onto a pure white linen cushion...

  5. Woab Dec 24 2018 @ 11:03

    Aye, 'tis a Christmas miracle, to be sure. Have a merry, MW, and everyone else here as well.

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