20

Most time-travelers have bad body odor.

  • Most time-travelers have bad body odor. This is due to the fact that people smell like the cuisine of their society, but are unaware of their own stench. In 2329 rotten-egg tea

    3
  • was the drink of choice. So any time-travelers end up smelling like rotten-eggs. Other side effects of time-traveling include feeling nauseous, getting stuck in the past, and

    2
  • speeding tickets. But that wasn't stopping devout librarian Janet Hornsby from traveling back in time to save her stolen Dewey Decimal System poster. She packed heat because she

    2
  • never wanted to be anywhere where she couldn't watch Al Pacino and Robert DeNiro overact. Ah, Heat she thought and smiled. Janet Horns jumped in the time machine and in a flash

    2
  • exploded into white hot flames. The theory of relativity prevented time travel and unless Einstein could be stopped the scientists at CERN would just be supporting the theory

    2
  • That they had on the same subject. Einstein went viral on social media and coud not be stopped. His opponents were checkmated. History was being made, before everyones eyes.

    1
  • As it always is. The rub was that there was always so much history being made that nobody could see it all. They could barely register the history that they were part of let alone

    3
  • the history of a tiny asteroid known to Earth Scientists only as HY59R. The quahogs there had just held their first election for a leader, but no-one else cared. Schlomo the

    2
  • Stupid sent a message to the scientists about the results of the election, but he misspelled election as erectiom, which led to some verys serious questions.

    2
  • So now scientists were scrambling to work out why Stupid's erection didn't work, instead of why the election didn't work. And, why was Obama campaigning his erection?

    1

2 Comments

  1. ashybear Aug 19 2016 @ 20:25

    Misreading lines at its best :)

  2. LordVacuity Aug 19 2016 @ 20:56

    Schlomo did 9-11.

Want to leave a comment?

Sign up!