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Once upon a time in the strange land called

  • Once upon a time in the strange land called Nujallah

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  • I was employed as a gentleman caller. My client had arrived--I said "Stall her! I have to finish my Oddawalla." I sipped on my superfood drink while i reclined in my chair to think

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  • . I had no idea how a gentleman caller was supposed to act. My forte was picking up chicks at bars, Occupy protests and NA meetings. I googled Mr. Darcy from "Pride and Prejudice"

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  • and only found images of Colin Firth. Searching for "gentleman" didn't help. She was expecting so much. I panicked, and then, inspired, I searched for "Magnificent Bastard" and

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  • quickly learned that my greatest threat to this evening was the unholy state of my eyebrows: fuzzy, ill-defined worms of hair-growth that threatened to overwhelm my boyishly good

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  • looks and baby blue eyes. It was time to tame the wilderness that was my eyebrows, and I knew just the person to do it. They called her the Wax Lady, and said she was the best at

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  • trimming up untidy hair.I stepped into her dark basement, for she did not have a proper salon.I never thought i would go to such trouble for beauty.

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  • But the hair was very ugly. When he got stucky on my feet I cried. My long and blak hair now was dead. I became a blonde and beautiful woman.

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  • izer. But I was chaste, I never even went so far as to share a kiss. I had a different date every other week. Also, I was not a woman, no matter how it may have sounded earlier!

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  • No, in fact, I had no outstanding genitalia of any kind! This was why I had to find a date every other week, you see. My chastity was brought on by default. I didn't learn virtue.

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1 Comments

  1. SlimWhitman Aug 04 2012 @ 17:17

    I like the way it keeps it's voice even as it loses it's hair...

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