I turned on the computer, worried that it

I turned on the computer, worried that it would take too long and worried that I would mess up. What would happen? I worried, What would happen if I didnt make it in time? Or if I

I couldn't remember if I was asking myself or someone else. I must be going mad. But I do know what is the worst scenario. It involves a xerox machine, two chip sticks, and

a gallon of butter. Thankfully, none of those objects seemed nearby, so my paranoia was kept at bay. I would have remained talking to myself but

I could have sworn I saw a giant tub of butter in the corner. Panicking, I hid behind the counter. The butter knows all. Suddenly, the butter rushed at me - with a butter knife!

From behind, a slab of steak leapt to my defence. "dont touch my friend" the steak said as he unsheathed his stake knife! Steel clashed with steel, butter clashed with steak. I ran

, I ran so far away. Naked & crying. I vowed I would never ever do LSD again. I made the mistake of looking back over my shoulder. Butter had steak covered & now a ninja knife was

.

And so, I ran back to grandma's house. "Grandma! You won't believe what I just did!" Grandma looked at me and smiled. As she made some fresh cookies, I told her what happened.

She was happy for me. Shes probably the only grandma in the world who would congratulate you and bake you cookies for loosing your virginity. It was fine by me though, today I am a