Beth, a paranoid privacy freak, thought the

Beth, a paranoid privacy freak, thought the CIA, FBI & Chinese Government monitored her computer because of searches she did before writing a Folding Story fold, like "best way

bills written during the Taft administration." She was also addicted to antique nautical items as well as a paranoid privacy freak. This made Beth the biggest

Butthole I had ever met. She was so full of herself! My biggest desire was to sneak into her house during her most private moments and smash her entire collection of nautical items

into so much frivolous rubble. Except for the brass lamp with the green beacon - I would keep that and drift into strange, mysterious dreams, my hatred for her melting into a hazy

affection for all things chartreuse. They leaped and gamboled through my field of vision, from piles of wreckage to shattered rubble. I stroked the brass lamp, feeling it cool agai

nst my armpit. Out popped a genie. "P. u. who are you? Make your first wish deodorant puuh-leeze!" But I wasn't about to waste my first wish on such trivia. "I want a bigger cardbo

The genie winked. "I think I know where your 'cardbo' is. Granted!" As it kept getting longer, my eyes widened in alarm. "You must make it shorter again!" "Ok" he said "Last wish?"

"I wish to have one more pair of alligator shoes", I said."why? You already have three!", the genie said, pointing to my closet. Yes, there were three but I noted they were smaller

than real alligators, & therefore not at all useful for disguising myself as an alligator."I need alligator shoes that are at least as big as a real ones,"I demanded from the genie