'Friggin things musta shrunk up again' she

'Friggin things musta shrunk up again' she muttered as she yanked on the denim, and completed a perfect impression of an overfilled muffin cup, spilling out the sides. 'Do these

Viagara have expiration dates he yelled over

the receptionist. "Old Viagra will not let an erection subside you twit. It's been 6 hours whats going to happen." Calmly she stated "Don't worry, at eight hours it will fall off."

that I shared a heart and a kidney with my twin brother. But he was definitely a different person. He had is own brain (the best one of the two I might add). So I was furious at th

e guy who had the audacity to say that my twin and I are exactly the same. To illustrate the notion that we are unique individuals, my twin brother cleverly took it upon himself to

punch the guy's lights out, something that I, a devout pacifist, would never ever do.Sure, my twin brother & I looked alike, but he was a hater & I was a lover. I bent down to help

myself to the contents of the guy's wallet. I loved being gainfully unemployed as much as I loved peace, man. My twin brother naturally hated my tactics. "Let the hate flow through

you like a lavish river and feel the power and energy that will,at last,bring you to the next level...Love and hate,night and day,water and fire

, peanut butter and bacon... mmm... That does sound good! I think I will make a sandwich right now. Yum. What were we talking about?