Once upon a time there was a middle school

Once upon a time there was a middle school teacher who lived in a magical land called Highlands. She was a magical teacher who was able to grant wishes.

The magical wishes were magically granted by the magical teacher. The magical magics were noticed by the magic police, and they witch hunted the magical teacher. "Aha!" they cried

when they discovered the magical teacher's hideout. The magical police then arrested the magical teacher and sent them to magical jail for illegally granting magical wishes.

After ten months in the magical halfway house the magical police allowed the magical teacher to go back to school to earn a wish-granting license. But the teacher failed and was

So he goes out and he makes his money the best way he knows how, another body laying cold in the gutter. Listen to me!

He listened, but the only sound from the cold body was a drip from the last of the spring shower which was slowly filling the gutter. Suddenly the body

just lay there like a dead body tends to do. It is the usual expectation upon walking into a murder scene investigation. We just don't usually notice the suddenly part of it. Det.

Manatee, however, took nothing for granted. Waddling over to the body, Det. Manatee leaned down &...listened. Then he suddenly declared: "Just as I thought. This person is NOT DEAD

!" "But Det. Manatee!," an onlooker protested, "he's been decapitated and shot 42 times in the crotch. There's his left nut right over there." "That's disgusting and gratuitous."