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he Tic Tacs left on the dresser in my room

  • he Tic Tacs left on the dresser in my room represented a vital part of my first date with Melissa Rainwater. Melissa was an Indian, now called Native Americans by sensitive types

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  • who also call Africans "humans of African heritage or descent", which is really just the definition of African, but it makes them feel smart. But back to Melissa--she was

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  • everything you'd want from a check-out girl. She was friendly, smiley, quick and always happy. How she managed to be like that day in day out was her secret. But I can tell you

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  • she made my evening alone at home more bearable. Just thinking, no fantasizing about her made my lonely life not so bad. I would lie in bed and think of all the things she would

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  • say if I got up the nerve to talk to her. "Ah, no, not really" or "uh, OK, thanks I guess" or "um, maybe, bye". She really set my world on fire, what a woman! I clicked on her Face

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  • Fungus and saw the white patches reflected a picture of Pope Benedict XVI. Her face fungus might be a way for him to make some money. But how would she

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  • sing in the burlesque bar now. Sack over the head? Been done before. Perhaps they could compose a fitting song. Yes, he felt one coming on... "Sarah brought the fungus among us".

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  • His singing was suddenly interrupted by the Ghurvtin invasion. Why did this always happen?

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  • The Ghurtvin Shock and Awe invasion maneuvers consisted of banging pots and lids together, throwing tomatoes at shop windows and egging cars, in order to take over in a hubbub.

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  • Ghurtvin came up with this maneuver during New Jersey's Great Molasses Riots of 1910 against the Pinkertons. It fluxomed the mayor and brought Taft's comeuppance. Oh murder!

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