he Tic Tacs left on the dresser in my room

he Tic Tacs left on the dresser in my room represented a vital part of my first date with Melissa Rainwater. Melissa was an Indian, now called Native Americans by sensitive types

who also call Africans "humans of African heritage or descent", which is really just the definition of African, but it makes them feel smart. But back to Melissa--she was

everything you'd want from a check-out girl. She was friendly, smiley, quick and always happy. How she managed to be like that day in day out was her secret. But I can tell you

she made my evening alone at home more bearable. Just thinking, no fantasizing about her made my lonely life not so bad. I would lie in bed and think of all the things she would

say if I got up the nerve to talk to her. "Ah, no, not really" or "uh, OK, thanks I guess" or "um, maybe, bye". She really set my world on fire, what a woman! I clicked on her Face

Fungus and saw the white patches reflected a picture of Pope Benedict XVI. Her face fungus might be a way for him to make some money. But how would she

sing in the burlesque bar now. Sack over the head? Been done before. Perhaps they could compose a fitting song. Yes, he felt one coming on... "Sarah brought the fungus among us".

His singing was suddenly interrupted by the Ghurvtin invasion. Why did this always happen?

The Ghurtvin Shock and Awe invasion maneuvers consisted of banging pots and lids together, throwing tomatoes at shop windows and egging cars, in order to take over in a hubbub.

Ghurtvin came up with this maneuver during New Jersey's Great Molasses Riots of 1910 against the Pinkertons. It fluxomed the mayor and brought Taft's comeuppance. Oh murder!