Your Bicardi laced, pimply faced "Sup bro?"

Your Bicardi laced, pimply faced "Sup bro?" made me want to

wipe you from existence with my anti-human Tide-To-Go. "Hold still," I said. "I'm trying to clean up your rum stains." But as your torso gradually disappeared, you grew suspicious.

"Look, man, I trust you completely," you admitted. "And I still find myself attracted to you. But can you please not make me invisible? It makes it so hard to use the can or

brush my teeth." Your local mad scientist just smiled and pulled the straps tighter. "Don't worry you won't feel a thing." A flash of light, a smell of ozone: You're invisible! Wow

it worked! The mad scientist & his assistant are looking right through you.Fortunately you are strapped in so they can convince themselves you' re really invisible,but your teeth

are chattering and giving away your location. "Let's wire his jaw shut, then our invisibility potion will be ready!" I was looking for a way out. Being a human guinea pig was

You see, spleen transplants come cheap from Mexico. I had a guy who knew a lady who knew this dude, and he said she could get me one on the cheap. Then, I could sell it later for

tons of money to some poor rich guy dying of spleen disease. But first this deal with spleens from Mexico had to pan out.I met the spleen supplier in

a Craigslist personal ad and soon we'd decided to buy a Bed and Breakfast in Vermont. But first he would have to get out of this jam...he had some spleenin' to do.