I readied my hand and steeled my nerves.

I readied my hand and steeled my nerves. This game of rock paper scissors was going to determine which of us was going to live.

"Rock." Our fists came down with intensity. "Paper." I looked at my opponent and saw his lip quiver. "Scissors." My pounding heart was all that I could hear.

as he held up his hand, held flat to represent paper. "Rock? What an amateur. Looks like you're done for, kid." Snarling, he pounded the button, and I felt a rumbling beneath me

Suddenly the ground opened up like a trap door and swallowed me. I screamed as I fell down an endless hole, presumably to my death.

To my surprise, something soft broke my fall. Just when I thought I was lucky to be alive, I realized that my luck had quickly worn out. I looked around realizing that I landed in

a pile of poison Ivy. I got out and started scratching myself like crazy, watching as the rash started to quickly set in "Worst day ever" I said to myself

As I found calamine lotion. No more gardening for me. I hired Chance The Gardener to do the job. His knowledge of plants was second to none and fish heads made great fertilizer!

Alas, Chance the Gardener was tapped to replace the impeached president and he was whisked off to DC. He did, before he left, recommend an earnest young Mexican fellow, Cheech, to

head the department of foreign affairs. Chance and Cheech, had an affair, followed by a white house wedding, after which they painted the white house in rainbow hues. "About time!