"But mom, I can't do the laundry when there's

  • "But mom, I can't do the laundry when there's a cellar parallax. The detergent keeps moving." Mother rolled her third eye. She grabbed her trinoculars and investigated the

  • situation. It wasn't cellar parallax it was lint gremlins. Junior was nearsighted & kids at school called him "Six eyes". Not wanting him traumatized she said "Take out the garbage

  • and the trash. Or you don't get no spending cash. Start scrubbing the kitchen floor. Or you ain't going to rock and roll no more. Yackety yak, don't talk back!" Junior hated his mo

  • town record collection of his brother, His brother would play the scratchy LPs while he was fixing his Thunderbird and the music would keep him awake in his room above the garage.

  • But he didn't mind. He was fond of his big brother, who toussled his hair with oil stained fingers when he would stop working in order to play catch, or send him on a mission

  • to convert the people of earth to direct current instead of the traditional life force, as direct current had more profit in it. The younger brother went through his Tesla phase, b

  • ut big oil put a stop to that. It took another generation and a half before solar stepped into the game. But when that happened the market really cracked open.

  • It created a sinkhole so huge it swallowed 804 cars and 2,286 humans fell in it, never to be seen again. This sinkhole went to Burger King and ate 59 Whoppers. It was paid for by

  • Obamacare, so everything was fine. However, the insane appetite of the sinkhole was not satisfied by big whoppers and humans. So it proceeded to consume Justin Bieber's next world

  • tour for dessert. It, too, was unsatisfying, to no one's surprise. Then the heavens opened and purple rain came pouring down, finally filling the sinkhole. True story...



  1. Flopp Apr 23 2016 @ 09:22

    HAHAHAH The last line made me crack up.

  2. Dhanithecat Apr 23 2016 @ 09:26

    Same here

  3. SlimWhitman Apr 23 2016 @ 09:53

    Esp. "True story...."

  4. PurpleProf Apr 23 2016 @ 22:18

    Tanku....Tanku veddy much.

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