Quorn

Quorn

: Delicious! It's the fungus among us!" George Lucas held up the colorful box and then sang, "Tune out the tuna and let the Quorn be born...in you TO-day!" Quorn truly is the most

amazing genetically perfected artificially enhanced meal replacement product available today. Quorn brand fungus: Delicious! Side effect may include

modifying the spelling of words to make them worth more Scrabble points, lowered standards for dining, and the guilt of shunning your local corn farmer. Quorn brand fungus sticks

where it counts. Roof of the mouth. On your finger. Gym locker. Quorn was invented by an accident. Orville Redenbocker had been on another bender something fierce.

Popcorn was served to everyone. Even the hamsters sniffed it but didn't eat any. Ditto for the cats. It was all an experiment to see how people could survive off ramen noodles.

Fortunately cats can eat hamsters or unfortunately for the Hamsters. The experiment was a complete fiasco. There were hamster bones everywhere and the board of hamster rights

So the hamsters decided to occupy the Horta costume from Star Trek and scuttle around scaring people into doing their bidding. This 'Hamster Horta' smelled awful and left a trail

of corrosive goo in its wake. An away team placed "Hamster Horta Xing" signs and cordoned off the area. Many witnessed their first underground Vulcan-Hamster mind meld on that day.