When my hamster started having philosophical

When my hamster started having philosophical discussions with me over dinner, I knew it was time to sell him to the neighbors next door.

They'd always been enamored with him, and I just couldn't put up with his existential hamster angst any longer. Who cares why we're here?! Just eat your pellets! My neighbors gave

us only three days to hightail it out of here. Move it! When was the last time you tried anything but running on that stationary wheel? My tail was twitching and my legs

needed a good shave. The cedar shavings made my box stuffy. I would have a drink, but the blasted water isn't cold. Oh, well, I could always chew a pellet and stare at the wall.

Such was life in 2100. The 22nd century was going to be a lost cause. I could see it clearly. The writing was on the wall. A bottle of Heinz 57 sauce was in the fridge and was good

until he stopped being good. It didn't go bad all at once though. It first went mauve. It even became a fad to have a mauve bottle of Heinz 57 sauce in your pantry in late 2118.

This was only because all of the Earth's tomatoes had died of a blight back in 2097 and no catsup or sauce of any kind had been produced since then. The mauve Heinz 57 sauce was

and continues to be a bit of an acquired taste. But hey, it's all we got out here in this desolate wasteland.

In the end, the only hint that anything out of the ordinary had ever happened were the multitudes of graves. No one ever put flowers on them, because they had a tendency to mutate.