Agent Spitfire Wannamaker, this message if

  • Agent Spitfire Wannamaker, this message if from the Deep Undercover Bureau of Secrecy (D.U.B.S.). For your eyes only. Contains Mission. Will self-destruck in 5 minutes. You must

  • quickly & quietly disassemble all of your personal belongings and sacrifice them to the sun god. This mission is of dire importance as we think he's angry because it's like hot out

  • with a risk of seasonal showers. I tried to disassemble my Ikea furniture, but I'd lost the allen key. Would the sun god accept the sacrifice of a fully erected FRTWNGL bed? Only o

  • -ne way to find out. I pushed my FRTWNGL bed across town & through the magic roundabout to the pyramid of the Sun God at its center. "Your sacrifice isn't disassembled," said a pri

  • us rounding the central roundabout. The Sun Gods minion Shabtis carried my FRTWNGL bed to the pyramid for dissasembly. "No!", I implored, jumping on the bed just as Ra descended

  • and we hit the bed at the same time and our capes got tangled & we both got tangled as well. I was aghast, this was the second time this had happened to Ra and I. In the Stargate.

  • We were regulars. We cooked breakfast for the others in the Temple of Ra. I preferred ham and eggs, while Ra cooked kickass breakfast burritos. The jalapeños were pleased as to how

  • thinly Ra sliced them and how he achieved just the right amount of char. The onions carmelized instantly when he directed his gaze upon them. The sun worshipers sat and ate

  • his glorious baked foods all winter, but when summer rolled around, Ra's followers drifted away from him in search of gelato and fudgesickles. Ra's tears fell like boiling lava

  • because they were actual magma. Ra should really get that checked. After his cheeks where fully charred, Ra got up, and went off too



  1. pupypup Oct 05 2017 @ 22:20

    oh whoops. didnt see the last line, by bad.

  2. pupypup Oct 05 2017 @ 22:21

    sorry i didnt see the "last line" my bad.

  3. pupypup Oct 05 2017 @ 22:23

    guh, ok, ok, i got how this works now. let me just end it.. "find his lost flowers."

  4. pupypup Oct 05 2017 @ 22:26


  5. pupypup Oct 05 2017 @ 22:26

    maybe i shouldn't be on this site ;-;

  6. LordVacuity Oct 05 2017 @ 23:00

    Don't worry pupypup, we've almost all been there. Welcome to the club.

  7. Woab Oct 07 2017 @ 11:34

    You'll be fine, pupypup. Actually, I rather like "to find his lost flowers" as it implies the loss of Ra's innocence. Now, that's colossal.

  8. Gibber Oct 07 2017 @ 21:07

    Here's another FRTWNGL bed, magic roundabout story: http://foldingstory.com/tko6x

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