Anyone who might have glanced my way would

Anyone who might have glanced my way would think nothing of me walking through the neighborhood in the morning. It was a school day and kids carry bags to school all the time.

Except I was a 63 year old man with shrapnel scars and two ex-wives. I'd been in the shit being shot at by slopes in Vietnam. Now, I was going to back to school, Elementary school.

Call it my second tour of duty. On the first day, all hell broke loose. Students screaming, pencils, papers everywhere. I had flashbacks to the tiger cage in the Hoy Tong Valley

Then I realized that he was battling narcolepsy, the nodding serving only to jolt the poor boy awake again. This new information freked me out and I started to sob. The boy

was after all dating an Insomniac whose father was a somnabulist and mother was a somniloquist. What would come of this union. I tended to worry about things long before they were

happening. As we drank the wine, he mentioned he lived in the world of underground kickboxing stamp collecting. He was a fatalist fugitive pugilist philatelist. This date was going

better than the coffee date with the despotic mule driver with a penchant for lispy poetry slamming. He raged about burrossss over churrossss. But she was much happier now that

she had left the sleazy, dimly lit world of beatnik poetry slams and stand-up "comedy", the lowest form of humor. Instead she opted for the superior dimly-lit world of cashews and

macademia nuts. At least that is what she called the old dotty professors of the local college. She dated one for a few months before she realized those weren't his real teeth.