He overdosed on happiness. We all know what

He overdosed on happiness. We all know what that means.

It means he had too many cats. He was in a blissful Nirvana and we had to intervene. "Matthew, don't you think you could hold off picking up strays?" "Never." he purred

"Well, we tried doing it the easy way," Patrick muttered as Mathew turned back to the kitten pile, "we are going to have to do this the hard way. You ask for this."

Patrick's eye grew cold like dead relative. Matthew tried not to look scared, but when Picard was feeling a beating coming on he was like a stallion on meth. The kittens, well

Trained, were skillful hunters and killed all mice and rats. The thrill of the hunt was most important. The kittens grew up to be responsible adults and owned their humans. Tom

Haverty was from Akron Ohio. He worked as a financial auditor at a prominent Akron accounting firm. His primary client was the Human Pound where the kittens had picked up their hum

-drum existences by attending kitten raves and joining single kitten pick-up sites. Haverty's best financial prowess could not undo the damage that these kittens had wreaked on the

feline reputation for grace, poise, and smelly breath. Another industry ruined by millennials. Haverty's only possible option was to appeal to the generosity of fat cats.

Sadly, fat cats didn't get fat by being generous. So Haverty got a face full of smelly feline breath, causing him to flee. The millennials, meanwhile, were

trying to assure the world that they were more than a Reality-Television-Show-Generation. Haverty moved back to L.A., and, despite his kindness, lived off fat cat rerun royalties.