I zapped and came across an episode of CSI.

I zapped and came across an episode of CSI. ??????? CSI? They only have this show on Wednesdays. My heart missed a beat. It must be a mistake, I told myself. it's Tuesday, it has

to be Fat Tuesday! Why would I have all these plastic beads, weird Mardi Gras outfit, a float tire mark on my shoe and strawberry margarita down my front? I mean if it's not Tuesda

y and if anything I'm 10 pounds underweight. No, it is definitely Skinny Thursday and I am in San Diego. I shook my head to clear the confusion. Someone was obviously messin' with

all the electronic scales. I surreptitiously checked the batteries and gasped at the underside label. Google! Google's plot to find out everyone's weight was here in San Diego! How

many times could Google betray thou who has watched massive amounts of fainting goat videos? Google also wants to know what color my butt hair is. Project UAFE, which stands for

arrive unannounced at your house and rate your pucker factor score during a Beta test of the UAFE device. Each score was announced via live streaming ticker on all channels.

My Grandpa was not amused and told the man at his door to get lost. Grandpa had no tv so the device being tested would never work. The Beta testing team skedaddled. Whew, Grandpa

would have kicked their asses if the Beta testers had been around when Grandpa learned that the last VHS machine on Earth was broken. Little did he know about the nuclear

exchange & resultant decimation of various video replay technologies.In his bunker he kept a complete collection of Stanley Kubrick films on tape. His favorite was Dr. Strangelove.