Mary never liked me. She always thought
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Mary never liked me. She always thought me off-putting. I never quite understood. While I admit I
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think she found my detailed plans to poison her with the 'Round Up', I did think I'd got away with the attempt to smother her with the
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toaster oven, but she managed to escape. How can I kill her without getting caught? Well back to another episode of 1000 ways to die. There must be
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some way to kill her slowly and painfully that won't bring suspicion back to me.
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So I decided to marry her and bore her death.
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I started slow, not taking her out except once a month and then going to the same museum over and over. Boring her to death, phase one, was complete. For phase two, I planned to
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overwhelm her with a new pet every day. Frank had always told me that women love animals, and if I was going to confuse her, I may as well do it properly. The first day, I gave her
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12 Norwegian yaks and a bad case of crabs. I followed that up the next day with a puppy. She did seem confused but Frank insisted his animal gift plan was solid. The third day, I
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was busy sorting the yak lice by gender, size and color, when - of all people - she walked up to me and
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asked for help in that annoying little voice she has,looking at me with those big eyes,sweet as hell.I just walked away and never got back.The bitch was crazy!
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- Started
- 2011-02-12 09:11:14
- Finished
- 2011-03-03 13:49:41
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