• 1
  • And thus, with a single word uttered from perfect infinite nullity, the Universe (Alpha) was born. This is the universe we inhabit; although we consider it "real", it is but a pre-

  • tzel loop, waiting to be shoved into a hot oven to bake. Then it shall be liberally salted and slathered in warm butter. Mm. Butter. Our half-baked, soft pretzel world is turning

  • Round and round, on an elliptical orbit. The cheese inside is melted and ready to eat. Millennials were enjoying the ride, whereas their parents weren't really into soft pretzels.

  • But the Millennial coup d'etat was so effective that Cheese Pretzel stores were present on every block.

  • The influence of cheese bred a slow intolerance for the stuff, eventually making the country of USA lactose intolerant. This was absolutely unacceptable; after all, where would

  • the USA be without cheeseburgers? Hamburgers were invented in Hamburg and cheese was probably invented when some Italian cow had a lactose leak and it fermented, but otherwise...

  • we could only claim frito pies and chop suey and frito pies weren't exactly "ours". This came as a surprise to onlooker Rutherford Smedgens, a scrivener at the Charterhouse.

  • Rutherford made a smug snort and a couple snotty notations in his review log and slapped it shut just for emphasis. His fellow diners tittered with self-righteous glee. "Oh my!" an

  • elderly woman in the corner exclaimed & summoned the waiter. "I believe I need to change my order to...to what HE's having!" The room exploded in laughter. Rutherford slow clapped.



  1. Woab Jul 12 2018 @ 14:31

    Did we pass the test?

  2. SlimWhitman Jul 12 2018 @ 16:30

    Yes, with a capitol O.

  3. ValkyrieGrrl Jul 13 2018 @ 04:38

    Fabulous ending indeed.

  4. TaZz Jul 14 2018 @ 14:18

    A 4 year story completed.

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