Facebook is so creepy.

Facebook is so creepy.

That guy who used to follow me around in high school wearing the school mascot's banana slug pants just poked me. I checked his page and he has an embarrassing picture of when I

was five. I was so shocked, no words would come from my mouth. I mean, where the heck did he get that?! That was supposed to be in the family album which I kept in the dark, dusty

attic next to the thread-worn hobby horse. I had it hidden in the album. "Please give it back." I pleaded. He held it out of reach. "You had X-Men #3 and you didn't TELL ME?"

"It's true," I thought, "I didn't tell him i had it. Did that mean that I was the bad guy afterall? Maybe I deserved to have my memories tarnished. Fuck that, even if deserved, I

can't bear any more punishment. I already have daydreams every hour of making some clumsy mistake and losing a tooth, or a finger, or an eye." My throat tightened up as I slid down

like that I would only negotiate with a 1996 Keanu Reeves. They pointed out that it was 2021. That had been my chief, my only demand. Defeated I freed myself & slid down. The pity

in their voices were apparent, but I would have none of it. It didn't matter if it was 1996, 2021, or heck, even the far off future of 2023! Keanu was timeless, and I wanted to

beat his face in. That guy pisses me off so bad, I'm like "ARGH" and he's like "Yeah, so?" and I'm getting all mad and he calls the cops and they put me in an asylum. Yay!