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Homicide

  • Homicide

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  • was Colonel Mustard's

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  • library of bloody hell. Spatters of blood decorated the spines of the books as the brassican veteran cackled and confessed to the crime. "With the knife, of course."

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  • "But how did the cauliflower stalks become welded onto the encyclopaedia section so accurately?" enquired the young woman in the corner. No one had seen her until now. She looked

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  • like hammered shit. Tequila shooters always did that to her. Well, tequila and her penchant for one night stands at FurryCon. Her nickname was Lint Trap because

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  • the friction from the furry suits melted the glue that kept it in place. She didn't really need the tequila, but being named Lint Trap made men dressed as rabbits feel better about

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  • Their forsaken masculinity. Generally speaking they are known to have a lack of masculine body hair which causes the furry suit characteristic in the first place. Yiff away boys!

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  • Suddenly, Barack Obama wondered into the room and began engaging in

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  • a spitting contest with British Prime Minister, David Cameron. "That all you got Dave?" said the President, as he hurled another globule of saliva from the top of the White House.

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  • "Yes," he replied, "because I am pretty crap at this, really."

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