"Girl, I am SO psyched that we decided to

"Girl, I am SO psyched that we decided to vaca here!" Gretchen was laying out on the beach with her best friend, Jane. "Of COURSE we came to the beach!" Jane smiled. A man walked

by and asked "What the hell is vaca"? to which the posers replied: "Hi there, want a lobby?" They meant 'lobster', but he didn't share their retardedness so he walked away, perplex

He didn't get out of the house often and didn't understand the vernacular of young, normal people, especially women. At least he left and wouldn't be further interrupting vacay.

English be damned! She approached the traumatized child king and said "Poor bae, don't be cray and throw shade! Let's go full retard and vacay together!". Her own ears hurt speaki

ng like dis, but whatEVER! She was, like, totally psyched to get a chance to help the child king, who was still kinda wiggin' out on her. "Yo kiddo, you trippin?"

whatEVER! She got bored with the minuscule addict-king and wandered off into a meadow to send out a few sexts, but nothing racy came to mind. Her iPhone seemed suddenly drab; above

the first picture she ever took, a line of text suddenly appeared, requesting access to the camera...

Of course she gave access to the anon person requesting it. She had never been one to turn down any stranger online asking for naughty pics. No matter that it got her in trouble

. But when she saw her naked body touting perfume on the side of a bus or her face snarfing Slim Jims on a Jumbotron, she had regrets.