She was incredibly relaxed for somebody who

She was incredibly relaxed for somebody who had just walked away from a four car pile-up. The cop checked his notes. "Is this right? The woman who died at the scene was your

Sister? No, she wasn't a sister of mine. The tufts of smoke drifted from the cars and caught in her throat. Somewhere in there his body was yet to be discovered. Blue eyes

Crying in the Rain was playing on the car stereo, but she couldn't bring herself to look. This was something you can't un-see, no matter how hard you try. The traffic jam went on

and on, nothing but cars and flashing lights. Luckily I had

been drinking most of the night, so the impact didn't affect me much. I just flopped around like a Raggity Anne doll for the fifteen minutes it took to stop the ride. Finally,

our first honeymoon night was over as we lay in bliss, our limbs entwined and floppy like we were Raggedy Ann and Andy dolls without the button eyes and hideous smiles. Suddenly,

I remembered the dread that would overtake me when I looked at my Raggedy Ann doll. My mind recoiled in horror and leapt to the time I saw Mickey Mouse in only half a costume.

His ears were matted with bourbon and regret. Two band-aids were crossed over one eye leaving him winking at me with that silly laugh and terrifying erection. How pink could he

paint the carbuncle on the tip of his penis? It looked like red turd with a pink squash on top. When he squeezed his balls Italian dressing leaked out of his penis lips like

a grown man trying to crawl through a doggie door. He winced in pain and almost fainted when he thought about how we would explain his condition to his poor, beautiful

cocker spaniel as to why he was eating the bacon bits out of the bag. But he couldn't help himself. Chewy, yummy, smokey

the wookie, gummi bear, and aged cheese all agreed that Alan was helpless around bacon bits. The cocker spaniel then

bit Alan's crotch, not out of ferocity, but in its Spaniel-like lust to get at the stolen bacon Alan had stuffed into his pockets. Wookie, Gummi-bear, & Parmesan all laughed to see

slimy, fatty, flaccid bacon tugging free of Alan's pockets. He blushed, humiliated, and vowed revenge on the ravenous spaniel, but Wookie just gestured toward the George Foreman

Grill. If I am not mistaken, you're achin for bacon! The dog wagged his tail as I laid the strips in a single layer and lowered the lid. As it knocked out the fat, I noticed a

half-used pack of Italian sausage in the back of the fridge. I reasoned that if I was going to let the dog have some of my bacon, I may as well treat myself to a sausage. When the

bobbys busted in, they found me only eating sausage. They could not have known what I'd really been up to that day! I had left the chickens

in the car, as instructed. The pigs couldn't be trusted. "No police," they said. I nodded, but my plan was set and I'd have my revenge.

No one believed that Arkansas Ridge Runners ( wild Pigs ) were kidnapping children for a ransom of Oreo Cookies. A lot of Oreo Cookies. Six Hundred Sixty Six Oreo's to be exact.

All dark and creamy like a delicious black man fucking you from behind.The Devil is on women's hips,was their belief.And they say pork is the other white meat!