Finally I had the Harvard degree, the tailored

Finally I had the Harvard degree, the tailored suits, the consulting job, country club pass, the Lexus, & thought I'd arrived in Yuppieland, but then Tom took me on the Metrosexual

Express and I had such fun that I lost track of time. Before I knew it, we were smackdab in the middle of Questionable Gender IdentityVille and Tom was rubbing my shoulders.

An my nipples hardened. He said there would be no judgments, but what about self-judgment? I wanted to gender-bend so badly, I was outrageously Bi-curious and Tom seemed to

gender unbend everyone he encountered. It must have been the fact that he used every Axe product each morning and applied the entire historical line in a single procedure requiring

The utmost diligence and note taking, which he excelled at. The notebook with the green cover was full.

bullet points, color coding, multiple levels of indentation, you name it. He hung his lists all over the walls and ceiling, a happy reminder that every minute detail of his life

had now become tremendously important. It wasn't until he was in the grocery store and spied David Attenborough peering at him through a camera from the guavas that he realized

that his fame had grown out of control. Living on his back like a tumor it bubbled and protruded from his skin. Everyone knew who he was they all wanted to talk with him or take hi

m to school for Show-and-Tell. If chosen, Johnny offered him his lunch money for 5 years, but, after all was said and done, he went to work for Disney as the character Quasimodo.