Jeremiah was stunned. Here he was, drinking

Jeremiah was stunned. Here he was, drinking his coffee and reading the morning paper, when his wife has the audacity to tase him. Sliding to the floor as his cup shattered, he..

pulled out a rocket launcher and shot his wife. That'll show her who wears the pants in this relationship. However, when you look down to make sure, you release that

deep hidden love for you own species of caterpillar, confirming your own inhumanity and asserting your passive destructive attitude on another." "Noooo" I wailed, as

countless children with a bloodlust rushed out of the seminary, ready to appease their pagan gods.

holding thiir heads up high they gave praise in voices cracked with emotion, wailing out a haunting chant that I will never forget, it said...

"Push it back! Push it back! Push all the way back!" I moved closer to the line. I hauled out the tricks of my trade, hoping beyond hope that...

But no, it was too late. No amount of pushing could contend with this force now. It erupted forth into this world, there was nothing left to do. I sipped my drink in silence.

Suddenly, God descended down from the high havens on his chariot with blazing sword of justice. And he said in His booming voice 'Thee doneth well! Twas all a test'. With that he

replace all of my V's with fishes and converted it all to binary! Damn this backwards world I inhabit where this logic is commonplace and I consider B's to be disappointing grades!