Jam was heaven. The very gateway into a wonderful

Jam was heaven. The very gateway into a wonderful world. Jam led me away from my troubles... Was it jam? I do not know. All I knew is that I was here. Happy. Away. From

cheese whiz, vegemite & nutella, into a world of glistening sticky fruit preserves. But it wasn't all treacle creeks & Marmeludite Schmuckiness. There was also bitter orange in Jam

my Dodgers that could be masquerading as a chutney. Conservative measures needed to be taken to preserve the world before everything risked turning into lemon curd. Peach butter

-nut squash soup was on the menu for dinner, and speaking of lemons, I made lemon meringue pie for dessert. I savored the flavors while I contemplated politics and current events.

He then brought out the pie. "I used zest for the hair." She stared at the meringue portrait of Donald Trump. "Actually, I'm quite full, maybe later."

Rush Limbaugh walked over, picked up the Trump pie, and splatted it onto her face. "Just because we don't endorse him, doesn't mean we don't adore him! Now lick up every last peel!

" "I guess you know all about licking it up, right Limbaugh?" She wiped pie from her face and before he had time to react she grabbed

His Jack Daniels and polished off the whole thing. He said, "How dare you!' and she walked out of the restaurant, leaving him to pay the bill. Limbaugh vowed revenge and plotted to

take her out on another date and order an entire bottle of liquor. Then down the whole thing, and leave her with the cheque. Yes. That would be an appropriate payback.