She looked out of her kitchen window.What

She looked out of her kitchen window.What she saw was less a lawn, more a field. Had it really been 6 months since she dragged that mower out of the shed?Well it would explain the

her hand in marriage two weeks after the NatGeo crew began filming. It was a happy time but for the Animal Farm like scene developing outside. Three large moles were sporting

Amish aprons and bonnets and holding large wooden stirring spoons in their front paws. Moles will give quick whacks of punishment for any breach of etiquette. This Marriage will

self destruct in 3 seconds. Tick. Tick. Tick.

"Sparky, why are you wearing a vest adorned with fissile plutonium?" The kamikaze dog barked, indicating that he wanted Bob's steak. Now Bob had a choice to make: Steak or Death?

Bob looked at the dog, and then at the fissile plutonium and figured he really didn't know how to not blow himself up; so he ate the steak.

But the dog knew perfectly well and dug two holes in the yard & scraped two half critical mass into them. He started working on the trigger mechanism. Bob said "Oppie, dang it!

bad dog! stop centrifuging weapons grade uranium! no snausage snack for you!" A green glow crept from the hydrangeas. "Oppie, Don't force me to call the EPA!" yelled Bob. Growling,

the dog began to emit a similar green glow, his radioactive urine mutating the plants into horrible eldritch bonsais. He'd regret it, but that was the last time the dog listened.