I'm sure I've mentioned watching the whales

I'm sure I've mentioned watching the whales fight the UFOs from my houseboat and what happened in the kitchen, so that one won't do. Pulling faces at a museum comes to mind. Susan

always seemed to like the boring stories the most. Every time I tried to tell my whales vs. UFO lasers story, she sighs and rolls her eyes. "Grandpa, please. Everyone knows that's

bull-" she stopped herself, realizing he IS a grandpa. "Bull-oney." "Baloney?!" he rasped. "Why, did you think the menehunes were baloney? How about the story I told about the w

world before the fall?" he asked clearly offended. "just stories. look i know you believe these things, but no-one else does. this is the world, and all it will be."

"But there must be something else out there!" She jumped to her feet, clearly aggravated. "Mother said that people escaped the Fall and started a new life. We're not the only ones!

This is when the cannibals jumped out of the nearby trees and surrounded us. We were trapped! The chief came forward, and sucked blood off of his fingers. The blood of our friends!

"Hello my friends!" he said cordially, "can we invite you to dinner at our village?" We couldn't refuse! The vegtables were perfectly roasted and the bbq pork smelled exactly like

something our poodle Tiiffany had left on the front lawn once, after eating a dead opossum. So we politely declined the village dinner and went instead to McRancid's where we got

arrested for not picking up after Tiffany. You heard me: ARRESTED! We spent the night in the slammer, hungry, pissed, & determined never to let any of this happen ever again!